he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
