So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
