we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
