I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
