She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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