There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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