Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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