Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
