Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
