first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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