Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
