kristin has been a bad kristin
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
