if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
