the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize