Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
