What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
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yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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