Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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