I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
