Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize