Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
