Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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