tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
