it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
