I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
FUCK WHALES
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
