So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
