Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
