Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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