dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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