So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
