last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
