and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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