Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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