What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
