idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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