found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
