Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
