Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
