Where did you get a picture of my penis
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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