3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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