i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
a search helicopter?!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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