Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
