How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
