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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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