So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
