Well douche your snatch and let's go!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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