I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
