im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Did you just see the Batmobile???
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
