Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
