Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
