that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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