I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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