she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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