I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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