Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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