like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
