windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
