in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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