I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
