I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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