I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
