I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Everclear isn't food dammit
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
