Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
