Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
