distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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