He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
