you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
