my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize