That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
