Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
