...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
