forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
