And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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