Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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