You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
