a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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