New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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